1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,768
Guess what, you guys,
         I got a new job.

2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:07,306
- sally:
       Another job?  Where?
     - at gung-ho videos.

3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,375
My command
             Of the vernacular

4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,610
Impressed both mr. Gung
         And mr. Ho.

5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,446
- congratulations, harry.
- good for you, harry.

6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,048
It's freezing out here.
  Dick, can we go inside now?

7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,719
No, we're here to experience
   Everything on this planet,
   Even the uncomfortable parts.

8
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:24,022
I have some
   Very uncomfortable parts.

9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,758
They said on the news that
The dew point is dropping.

10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,860
- what does that mean?
     - I don't know.

11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,798
It just caught my attention
  'cause it sounded
  Kind of dirty.

12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,634
Why do humans spend
           So much time worrying
           About the weather?

13
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,069
They can't go 15 minutes
      Without getting an update.

14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,071
Don't these people
           Have windows?

15
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,642
I cannot do a book
      Report out here, dick.
      My fingers are going numb.

16
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,311
- can we please
         Go inside now?
       - absolutely not.

17
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,481
This is research.
    No one goes in without
    A damn good reason.

18
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,416
<I> ( wind howling )</I>

19
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,391
Does anyone remember
What color our napkins are?

20
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,927
- I think we should go check.
 - harry: let's go find out.

21
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,929
<I> ( '50s rock music playing )</I>

22
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,197
- whew!  I am freezing.
    - why don't you wear
      A longer skirt?

23
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,501
With these legs?
             I don't think so.

24
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,436
Did you pick up
    My tickets?

25
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:48,239
Yes, and your reservation
      For your hotel in chicago.
      There's your itinerary.

26
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,976
Nina, I can't believe
    This is happening to me.

27
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:55,380
Not every anthropologist
  Receives this kind of honor.

28
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:58,016
I know,
         The louis leakey award.

29
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,252
To stand in front of
   A conference of educators

30
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,822
And express my thoughts
    About my work.

31
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,958
This is going to be
The best weekend of my life.

32
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,628
- why are you looking
       At me that way?
     - no reason.

33
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,730
Dr. Albright!
                   Dr. Albright!

34
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,066
Guess what.
             You and I are
             On the same flight.

35
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,469
Same row, side by side,
  Strapped in at 38,000 feet.

36
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,405
Isn't that great?

37
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,475
Why are you going
    To the conference?

38
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,811
They're giving me
    Some kind of academic award.

39
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,414
They hand these things out
   Like candy mints.

40
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,017
Once we get that
                Out of the way,
                The two of us

41
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,119
Get to experience
   The magic that is chicago.

42
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,355
Well, once again

43
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,357
Something wonderful
      In my life

44
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,593
Has been turned into
      A giant crap fest.

45
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,096
What's the matter?
    You--

46
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,967
I guess she's just
    Saving up her excitement
    For the crap fest.

47
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,202
- you just don't
        Get it, do you?
      - what do you mean?

48
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,538
There are people
        Who have stress

49
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,540
And people
            Who give stress,

50
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:59,010
- and you... Are a giver.
   - that's nonsense.

51
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,046
- ( knocking )
- dr. Solomon?

52
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,281
Well, come in, leon.

53
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,617
Come in, come in,
    Come in, all the way in.

54
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,054
Can I have the weekend
To turn in my paper?

55
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,957
Leon, do you find that
         I cause you stress?

56
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,292
- did someone say I said that?
 - no.

57
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,628
It was all
A misunderstanding.
I love physics.

58
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,230
I find it very soothing.
I don't know what
You've heard.

59
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:22,400
Please don't fail me.
    I'll turn the paper in
    By friday.

60
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,502
( stammers )

61
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:27,171
- that was a stress
       Reaction, wasn't it?
     - yes, it was.

62
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,540
Thank you, nina.
    You've opened my eyes.

63
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,276
I'm going to make sure
  That dr. Albright's weekend

64
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,278
Is stress-free,
        Hassle-free,

65
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,280
And completely
    Without unpleasantness.

66
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,349
Oh, you're not going?

67
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,159
Oh, tommy.  What are
            You doing here?

68
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,662
I thought you had
            That book report due
            On dickens.

69
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,698
I was doing it,
And it was so boring.

70
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,535
I realized I could save
Myself a lot of work
If I just watched the movie.

71
00:03:56,537 --> 00:04:00,305
I can't believe no kid
Ever thought of this before.

72
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,508
I'll help you
        As soon as I'm done
        Reorganizing this place.

73
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,844
- why?  What was
          Wrong with it?
        - it was a mess.

74
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,846
Everything was just
Lumped together.

75
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,482
You know, all the "A's,"
        All the "B's."

76
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,885
26 unrelated categories,

77
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,388
Except for "X"
         Which has its own room.

78
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,691
Well, how does
    It work now?

79
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,594
Things are much
             Simpler now.  Look.

80
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,563
Good movies.

81
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,767
Bad movies.

82
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,736
Movies I haven't seen.

83
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,440
Pardon me, where
          Could I find "Aliens"?

84
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,912
Nowhere.

85
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,082
Not here,
        That's for sure.

86
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,151
Nobody here
         But us humans.

87
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,754
- ♪ la, la, la... ♪
    - ( videotape clatters )

88
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,423
♪ la, la, la, la ♪

89
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,927
Stop looking at me.

90
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,497
Do you really
              Think this trip is
              Such a good idea?

91
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,632
Chicago's really far,
           And I saw on tv

92
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,134
- something about a low
    Pressure front moving in.
  - low pressure?

93
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,169
That's exactly what
    Dr. Albright needs.

94
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,672
-<I> ( car horn honks )</I>
    - ah, there she is now.

95
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,674
This doesn't feel
Right to me, dick.

96
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,677
Separating from the unit
        For an entire weekend
        Is madness.

97
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,246
As first officer
In charge of security,
          I forbid it.

98
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,449
I am high commander,
    And I'm going.

99
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,519
- come on, why?
   - lieutenant, don't worry.

100
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,922
I'm prepared
For every eventuality.

101
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,924
I think you're taking this
      Far too lightly.

102
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,793
You've never
   Traveled here before.
   How do you know what to pack?

103
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,630
- how will I reach
      You in chicago?
    - I'm taking the phone.

104
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,633
You know the number.

105
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,668
Why are you taking
Refrigerator magnets?

106
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,838
Chicago, the windy city?

107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,040
I think it's obvious.

108
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,042
What do you mean?

109
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,044
Let's say
         An urgent message

110
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,312
Comes in for dr. Albright,
      And she's out sightseeing.

111
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,314
I lay it
           On the nightstand

112
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,084
Because I have
       No way of securing it
       To a metallic surface.

113
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,554
A gust of wind blows it
         Under the bed,

114
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,657
And mary never discovers
   Her long-lost identical twin,

115
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,660
All for want
       Of a magnetic banana.

116
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,662
<I> ( car horn honks )</I>

117
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:07,498
That's exactly the kind
       Of needless agitation
That I intend to prevent.

118
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,634
Understood.
Travel well, commander.

119
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,570
I shall return.

120
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,315
What are you doing?

121
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,317
I'm entering the pod.

122
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,420
For god's sakes,
      Just sit down
      And behave yourself.

123
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:33,058
Of course I will, mary.
Here I am, sitting.

124
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,293
You just be calm.
      Take a deep breath.

125
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,328
<I> ( bell dings )</I>

126
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,098
Female flight attendant:
 <I> welcome to northview airlines</I>
    <I> flight 604 to chicago.</I>

127
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,100
Oh, my god!
          Out there!

128
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,003
There's something
       On the wing!

129
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,072
<I> ( announcement continues</I>
          <I> over p.A. )</I>

130
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,241
- it's an engine!
  - this thing is a deathtrap!

131
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,944
Sky waitress!
         Sky waitress!

132
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,046
Please be quiet
       During safety procedures.

133
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,616
Safety?  On this
          Flying donkey cart?
          That's rich.

134
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:01,285
How can this woman stay calm
  When, at any second,

135
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:04,989
We could go careening out
   Of the sky in a flaming
   Heap of twisted metal?

136
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,025
- sir, everything
        Is going to be--
      - at least give her

137
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,160
A gelatin-filled helmet
   To keep her brain intact.

138
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,163
She's receiving an award!

139
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,465
- please sit down.
       - no!

140
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,435
We're getting off!
         Who's with me?

141
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,171
I've never been kicked
          Off a plane before.

142
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,173
Be grateful it was
Still on the ground.

143
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:26,377
- you could have told me
     You were afraid to fly.
   - only on airplanes.

144
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,114
Instead of a 45-minute flight,
 I have a seven-hour drive.

145
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,116
Don't worry.
        I've anticipated
        Your needs,

146
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,651
And I'm ready to fill
The remaining six hours
    And 50 minutes

147
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,387
With mirth and merriment.
   I brought "Mad libs."

148
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,658
I need the name
Of someone in the room.

149
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,895
- dick.
            - dick.

150
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,664
( laughs )

151
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,100
This is funny already.

152
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,171
Look, it's
               Starting to snow.

153
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,273
- oh, my god.
      - what's the matter?

154
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,275
Haven't you ever seen
           A snowflake before?

155
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,677
Yes, and I prayed
    I'd never see them again.

156
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,280
Turn on the high beams.
    They fear the light.

157
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,758
Where can I find
"Remains of the day"?

158
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,596
Oh, that would be
    In the "I didn't
    See it" section.

159
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,668
Wow, I've finally found

160
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,770
What I was looking for--
        "David copperfield."

161
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,206
It doesn't look boring.
    He saws himself in half

162
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,308
And makes the statue
     Of liberty disappear.

163
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,979
Hey, look
                 Out the window.

164
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,914
( screaming )

165
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,250
They're here!
         They're here!

166
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,953
Albino brain chiggers!
    Cover your ears!

167
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,856
Harry!  Harry!
           It's snow!  Snow.

168
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,826
- oh.
- I learned it
        In science class.

169
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:51,496
Come on outside with me
       And I'll show you how
       To write your name in it.

170
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,736
Oh, my god.

171
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,171
It's covering everything.

172
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,607
The whole town is
       Being obliterated.

173
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,012
- hello!
         - I'm up here!

174
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,081
I'm up here.
    I'm up here!

175
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,083
Uh... Oh.

176
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,886
Uh... Okay, I know
          The term paper's late,

177
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,656
- but my car wouldn't st--
  - who cares?  You're alive.

178
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,660
You're alive.
         Who are you?

179
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:25,363
Oh, I-I'm a student
Of dr. Solomon's.
          My name's leon.

180
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,532
I'm a sister
    Of dr. Solomon's.
    My name's sally.

181
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,534
Yeah, I know.
           I saw you one day

182
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,602
When you dropped off
          His lunch.

183
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,738
And then you went
          To the dry cleaners,

184
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,374
And then to
          The shoe repair place,

185
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,376
And then the car wash.

186
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,511
And then you went home
          And read a book
          By the window

187
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,983
- for three hours.
     - I remember that day.

188
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,618
Listen, leon, I don't want
To freak you out
Or anything,

189
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,288
But I think
The earth is spiraling
Out of the sun's orbit

190
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,456
And we're heading
For a new ice age.

191
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:56,294
Uh... Did they say
           That on the news?

192
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,763
No, but trust me,
I've seen this happen before.

193
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,934
- we could be the last two
     Creatures on earth.
   - I don't know about that.

194
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,269
Our first responsibility
Is to breed.

195
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,772
We must,<I> must</I> copulate

196
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,708
As<I> much</I> as we can.

197
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,882
Well, now that
            You mention it,

198
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,920
I didn't see any people
         On the way over.

199
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,488
( gasps )
    Damn!

200
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,192
How are we
Supposed to do it
With the lights out?

201
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:33,331
( puerto rican accent )
        ♪ a boy like that
        Will kill your brother ♪

202
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,333
♪ forget that boy
              And find another ♪

203
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:39,637
♪ one of your own kind,
        Stick to your own kind ♪

204
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,706
♪ a boy who kills
               Cannot love ♪

205
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,942
♪ a boy who kills
               Has no heart ♪

206
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,611
♪ and he's a boy
               Who has no heart,
               Very smart ♪

207
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,448
- ♪ oh, no, anita, no,
You should know-- ♪
     - oh, my god.

208
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,017
- fear has made
         You hysterical.
       - oh, no, no, no.

209
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,054
I just like to sing
   Show tunes on long trips.

210
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,290
Before I found anthropology,
  I was going to be
  A theater major.

211
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,525
Did I ever tell you
         Why I became a teacher?

212
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,028
- I don't think
     This is the best time--
   - like all little girls,

213
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,097
I had a thing
       For neolithic archeology.

214
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,600
My father used to cut up
      My barbies and bury
The pieces in the backyard

215
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,237
So I could
             Discover them.

216
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,272
Only problem was,
       On my first dig

217
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,608
I discovered I was
      Afraid of skeletons.

218
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:21,445
- boy, it's really
     Coming down now.
   - poor, sweet, tiny mary.

219
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:24,315
You can drop the brave front.
 We're under attack.
 Pull over.

220
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,817
- what?
      - I'm commandeering
        This car.

221
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,386
- oh no, you're not.
 - it's a full-scale invasion!

222
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,421
- I'll save you!
      - ( mary screaming )

223
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,396
Are you getting
    The feeling back
In your hands?

224
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,499
- no.
       - well, the walk
         Wasn't too bad.

225
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,036
Oh, yeah, the last
        Four miles just flew by.

226
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,273
You plowed my car
         Into a snow bank.

227
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,275
I know.

228
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,879
And we thought it was
Going to fight back.
Aren't we silly?

229
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,381
If anything is wrong
            With that car,

230
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,383
I am holding you
            Responsible.

231
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,419
We've got to
              Stick together.

232
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,421
The roads are closed.
       And look around.

233
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,556
We're surrounded
          By neanderthals.

234
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,928
That's a fair assessment,
       Isn't it, fellas?

235
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,502
Are you
    All right, honey?

236
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,805
Yes, I'm fine,
             Thank you.

237
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,908
You know, your boyfriend's
Kind of cute.

238
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,344
- him?
       - the way he spent
         The last hour

239
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,447
- knocking himself out trying
   To get your attention.
 - he's an idiot.

240
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,950
Honey, they're
    All idiots,

241
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,721
But this one is looking
At you like you're the only
Woman on the planet.

242
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,723
Although you're real pretty,
You're not exactly

243
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,893
The last ham sandwich
In hungry town,
If you get my drift.

244
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,898
Yes?  It did?
               ( gasps )

245
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,067
Oh, my god.
                Where?

246
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,236
And you're sure?

247
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,072
Thank you.

248
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,074
- mary.
            - hmm?

249
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:59,110
- that plane that I
     Got us thrown off of...
   - yes?

250
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,112
It never
          Reached chicago.

251
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,281
Oh, my god!

252
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,784
Oh, my god!  Oh!

253
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,886
- oh!
             - yes,

254
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,256
The airport was closed,
        And they were diverted
        To gary, indiana.

255
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,567
Gary is 20 minutes
    From chicago.

256
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,905
Well, but it's
An inconvenience
            Nonetheless.

257
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,608
I think someone
            Owes me an apology.

258
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,584
<I> ( wind howling )</I>

259
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,586
Okay, here are
    Our rations--

260
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,821
Tuna salad
    On whole wheat.

261
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,758
Sorry, all we have
    To drink is this
    Giant bottle of wine.

262
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,760
It has a modest bouquet,

263
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,696
But I think you'll be amused
By its presumptuousness.

264
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,267
Whatever.
        ( grunts )

265
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,336
Well, leon,

266
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:02,039
- to the survival
         Of the species.
       - oh, hmm, yes.

267
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,812
- why are you nervous?
- well, it's just that

268
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,516
I've never been with
      A woman of your...

269
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,451
Good-lookingness before.

270
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,155
Yeah, I know, I'm hot.

271
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,157
It's kind of exciting
For me, too.

272
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,793
All the men I've met have
Been strong and decisive,

273
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,530
And you're neither
    Of those things.

274
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,999
Well, I can be, maybe.

275
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,203
Probably not.

276
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,507
Oh, leon,

277
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,677
Think what our offspring
Will be like.

278
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,813
They'll have my skills
As a warrior

279
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,082
And your fierce
    Intelligence.

280
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,425
Dr. Solomon doesn't talk
         Much about me, does he?

281
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,329
I think you're just
        Trying too hard.

282
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,598
It's exhausting.
Nothing I do is right.

283
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,600
You see, that's
             Your first mistake,

284
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:06,170
You see what I'm saying?
        Women don't want you
        To do everything.

285
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,072
According to who?

286
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,007
Oprah.

287
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,079
- yeah, oprah.
       - so what do I do?

288
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,849
Well, you want to give
Her what she wants
When she needs it.

289
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,984
And you've got to try
           And understand it

290
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,954
When she needs
          Her freedom to want
          What she needs.

291
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:27,791
Yeah, and if she's free
To want it when she
Needs it or not.

292
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,061
- you see what
          We're sayin'?
        - yeah.

293
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,464
You have got
       To pay attention
       To what she likes

294
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,466
And share it with her.

295
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,868
- you see what he's saying?
  - you see what I'm saying?

296
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,970
- you see what
          We're saying?
        - yeah, uh-huh,

297
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,006
I see what
You're saying.

298
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:44,409
But what does she like?

299
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,978
Oh, oh, oh!
I know the perfect thing.

300
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,348
No, she hates that.

301
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,084
Ooh, I know!

302
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:56,254
No, that made her
Throw up.

303
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:59,190
- it's hard, isn't it?
     - it is damn hard.

304
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,764
♪ oh-hhh... ♪

305
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,268
♪ ...Klahoma where
         The wind comes sweeping
         Down the plain ♪

306
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,236
Don't even try it.

307
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,477
♪ and the wavin' wheat
       Can sure smell sweet ♪

308
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,681
♪ when the wind comes
    Right behind the rain ♪

309
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,986
♪ oh-hhh-klahoma ♪

310
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,623
♪ every night
     My honey lamb and I ♪

311
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,725
All:
     ♪ sit alone and talk ♪

312
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,795
♪ and watch the hawk
     Making lazy circles ♪

313
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,797
♪ in the sky ♪

314
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:43,401
- ♪ we know we belong
       To the land ♪
- all: ♪ ahh ♪

315
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,003
♪ and the land
    We belong to is grand ♪

316
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:50,575
♪ yippee-yi,
    Yippee-yay, yippee-yay ♪

317
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,011
( weeps )

318
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,316
♪ and when
        We say, yeow! ♪

319
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,552
♪ ayipioeeay, yeow! ♪

320
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,721
♪ we're only sayin',
      You're doing fine ♪

321
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,723
♪ oklahoma ♪

322
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:09,727
♪ oklahoma
       O-k-l-a-h-o-m-a ♪

323
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:16,601
♪ okla-hooo... ♪

324
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,768
♪ ma! ♪

325
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,870
♪ yay! ♪

326
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,580
I don't know why I was
So afraid of the snow.

327
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,582
It's actually
    Quite beautiful.

328
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,084
You know that slush
Down in the gutter?

329
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:37,522
You call me crazy,
But you put a little
Cherry syrup on that,

330
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:41,526
You got yourself
A cool, refreshing treat.

331
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,329
Here, listen to this.

332
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:48,399
"Charles dickens'
    'david copperfield'
    Is an extraordinary book

333
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,169
About a man who accomplishes
  Many incredible feats

334
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,171
Involving claudia
      Schiffer handcuffed

335
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,173
In an underwater tank
     With sharks."

336
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,476
- that's good.
   - where are all the tapes?

337
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:02,213
Well, we had a big night,
   But fear not.

338
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:05,783
We still got five copies
Of "Johnny mnemonic."

339
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,720
If that's not
    Your cup of tea,
We've also got

340
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,823
"The making of
    Johnny mnemonic."

341
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,459
How about adult movies?

342
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,001
We got
            "Fat fräuleins."

343
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,970
"A lusty romp
           Through the cheese
           And sausage shops

344
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:29,039
Of communist east berlin."

345
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,410
Forget it.

346
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,113
All right,
    Give it to me.

347
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,289
So then freddy stivender
        Beat the crap out of me.

348
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,924
It was the talk
                 Of the school.

349
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,792
I was so embarrassed.

350
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,729
But after weeks
            Of plotting,

351
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,098
- I got my revenge.
      - what did you do?

352
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,901
I had my mom
             Tell his mom.

353
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,372
I like your tactics.

354
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,310
You know, it may just
           Be the wine talking,

355
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,280
But I'm beginning
            To think

356
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,782
In a crazy world
            Like this,

357
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,951
You and me

358
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,953
Just might make sense.

359
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,858
Hey, lights!

360
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,027
They'll be out again
      In a second,

361
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,596
If there's a god
        In heaven.

362
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,931
People are outside
              Shoveling snow.

363
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,701
We're not
                 The last people
                 Alive on earth.

364
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:34,238
Leon, you don't have
To impregnate me!

365
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,643
Uh... Oh, good.

366
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,581
Not to mention the ominous
   Behavioral parallels

367
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,617
Between australopithecus,
   Euralopithecus...

368
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,155
- this is stupid.
      - no!  No, it's not.

369
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,624
( overlapping dialogue )

370
00:19:56,563 --> 00:20:00,030
So in accepting this award,
I must pose the question,

371
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,934
"Has our journey
From primate to man
Finally concluded,

372
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,170
Or has it just begun?"

373
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,206
( gasps )
               Wonderful.

374
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,040
Wonderful!  Yes!

375
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,477
Excuse me, dick,
          But that road
          Has been cleared

376
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,580
For a good half hour
          Out there.

377
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,549
Be all right if we just
         Scoot on out of here?

378
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,219
- sure.  Sure.
      - thank you, ma'am.

379
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,221
Ma'am, I surely
                 Am sorry

380
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,989
You didn't get to pick up
       Your leakey award.

381
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,732
Oh, dick, I feel
I owe you a thank you.

382
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,668
You certainly
Made the time pass.

383
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,938
I can't blame
    The weather on you.
    Well, I could,

384
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,173
But I won't.

385
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,344
- sometimes things
       Just don't work out.
     - oh, I don't know.

386
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:49,280
Sometimes on the way
To what's supposed to happen

387
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,516
Something even better
         Happens,

388
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:56,086
Which is why I am pleased
    To present you with this orb

389
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,922
Containing a diorama
          Of the city of chicago

390
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,158
In a state
         Of perpetual blizzard.

391
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,331
- it's remarkable, isn't it?
  - yes, it is.

392
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,634
- and I have
        Something for you.
      - you do?

393
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,236
- the crimson shovel.
     - oh, thank you.

394
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,339
- let's go
         Dig out the car.
       - absolutely.

395
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,309
It should be easy to find.
I left the lights on.

396
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,947
<I> ( '50s rock music playing )</I>